As much as I like to stay in the house and be to myself, I see that it is sometimes socially damaging to my psyche. It is when I am alone that my insecurities come to the forefront and I am left lamenting my situation. All I can ask is why I feel this way and why doesn't the confidence I exude on so many other occasions come to my defense in my time of need.
My biggest fear of meeting someone is to be rejected. I have been turned down by jobs, internships, institutions, and organizations. But the most painful rejection comes from one singular being. This is further amplified in the realm of dating when someone just stops communication. Falsely lulled into the security of a synchronized vibe,endorphins are released and I am flung into a semi-euphoric state. The umbilical cord that rations my subsistence is severed when the communication is dropped without any type of reason, no matter how pragmatic it may be. I am a pretty open person and I require a thorough understanding of situation. This proof gives me the ability to rational the reason behind the action and helps me prepare myself in the case the the situation arises again.
Maybe I need a break from all this dating crap. Or this is my retribution for the sins of the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment
How else would I know that you read it?