Fuck My Life

So thanks to my few viewings of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak's 'Tardy for the Party' has become a guilty pleasure of mine. And through this viral upload, it may become one for you too.




To tie it in, the next song is from 'Tardy for the Party's producer, Kandi Burruss, 'Don't Think I'm Not'

I shall not deal with this foolishness

In the joy of finally having a working cell phone, I am apt to give my number out prematurely. Such was the case Sunday evening, when I was attracted to a profile online. I gave him my number and we exchanged texts, getting to know each other just a little more. In our conversation I state my intentions of just getting to know someone as a friend and that I am in no rush to start talking or dating anyone, especially someone I met online. He calls in the middle of our texting session and I see that he carries an effeminate tone (its not a bad thing, just not what I am attracted to). The phone convo is dead because he called while I was decompressing from a stressful day. Thankfully one of my friends call so I can get off the phone with him. Thirty minutes later he texts me saying that he doesn't think I am interested in him. I carefully reiterate that I am just looking for friends, but even that level has its pre-requisites.

So he calls twice earlier this evening while I am discussing some business with one of my closest friends. Naturally I ignore the call. He calls again while I am on the phone with my best friend (I haven't talked to her in a couple of weeks) and I click the line to tell him I'll call back. I don't (and that's my fault) and I get mad that he is so persistent. I resolve to tell the truth (for the truth shall set you free) the next time we correspond. So here is how it went down (NOTE: text has been kept true to preserve integrity)

'Why do you keep saying u'll get back. If ur not interusted let me know'


'I am not interested'


'Its not that serious now dnt get cocky now i wantd to be ur friend ur to heavy for me and alittle dorky'


'Alright dude. Take it easy'


'u to and on u take it easy on the food peace'

I wanted to really flex my intellectual muscle and go off on him, but I figured it would only create more senseless strife.

'The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated: In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.'
Law 34 Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like one

Music Tuesday

This week is dedicated to Jay-Z, Blueprint 3 dropped last week and it seems that everyone has copped it. Well except for me, but I did hear these two songs and instantly loved them.

The first is 'Empire State of Mind' ft Alicia Keys. I first heard this on the VMAs and loved it. Alicia Keys really goes IN on this record and she looked good at the performance.



The second is 'Venus vs. Mars'. I know its not a love song, but I think its as close to a love song that we are going to get form Jay-Z. This song strangely gets me aroused...

Conscious/Cognizant Media

Ever since taking a class about race, gender, and media I have been using the conscious/cognizant media avatar. I learned a lot about the role media plays and about how many devices are used to make people think a certain way. It opened my eyes to the really dark side of my major and passion; I have forever since been changed. I feel that I am on another plane of consciousness because I am not as susceptible to the many ills and I am willing to digger deeper than the surface story. I almost always give a negotiated reading of the major stories, especially in pop culture stories. It upsets me to see how many people simply take what is given, make their own nonsense and distribute it like truth. A senseless cycle that forcibly excludes the more pressing stories. Playing into the hegemonic machine that powers the fabric of oppression, we are continually led into an abyss of misinformation. This leads to a dangerous way of socialization, accepting falsehoods as truths and passing them onto the next generation. It is my belief that this socialization only furthers the divide between the haves and the have nots. And I also believe that one of the most effective ways of countering this is to make people aware of the things that they can not see. Shed light on stories that have not been heard which is, in a sense, shedding a different light on things that are already known. It is the responsibility of those equipped with the knowledge to have agency and spread the information through whatever means.

Overhaul

I saw some pics of myself from over the weekend and I was not pleased at all!!! My stomach was totally out of order and my shirt was fitted, I looked a damn fool. So its time for me to really do some evaluating and lay the framework for really losing some weight. I did it when I gave up chicken and beef for lent so I know it can be done. Just have to find the right balance for food and find the perfect routine for me. I may have to look into a personal trainer for a month and go from there.

Applesauce

I was eating a cup of mango peach applesauce and a number of random thoughts popped in my head, too many to tweet, lol.

• Why do we have flavored applesauce, shouldn't those fruits have their own sauces?
• Why is it called applesauce anyway? A sauce sounds like a condiment to me and I can't remember putting applesauce on my chicken or the last time that I ate ketchup in a bowl. Is it even the right consistency to be called a sauce?
  
• Why is it so good when a pinch of cinnamon is added?
• Who likes plain applesauce?
• But really, why are there flavored applesauces, they are cramping applesauce's style.
  

Ugh

Ever so often I am forced to look at how hollow my life is and I begin to long for some type of romantic involvement. The driving force of this search is in hopes of breaking the routine I have fallen in, to provide an escape from the growing feeling of being incomplete. I know that all the romance gurus and mantras say that you shouldn't look for someone to complete you, but I feel like something is missing. And if something is placed there, say a relationship, my life would in fact be 'complete'. I hate this feeling because it is the antithesis of my longing to be independent and devoid of relying on others for support. I hope this feeling wanes soon, I don't think I can handle too much more of this.

Follow Me

I've had a twitter account for some time now, so definitely follow me on there http://www.twitter.com/conscious_media

Music Tuesday

I've been thinking of ways to spice up my blog and came up with the idea of doing some weekly updates. So following in the tradition of the entertainment industry, I will be presenting music on Tuesdays. To kick things off, I'm bringing some eclectic music. I heard both of these while working at the new job, I hope you like!!


If you like her, cop the lp on iTunes for $4.99.


This song makes me think of 80s Prince!!

At the Club

My friends had been talking about hitting a club/bar on Sunday and invited me to come. I'm usually not down for it, but I felt that this weekend was a treat myself out weekend (since I did just buy a phone, FINALLY!). I made enough money at work during the day to party with the fellas and partied we did. I haven't had a time out like that in a LONG time. We jumped from one spot cuz it was whack and headed to the premier spot on Sundays, Eyebar. It was packed when we got there and there was a $10 cover. I had to get a few drinks in my system and then I was on a roll. I found my spot on the wall and WENT IN!!!! A couple of dudes commented on my energy, they said I was really into it and my response was along the lines of, 'I don't go out too often and I have to party when I can.' It was just a fun night that I want to recapture in the future.

Oh yea, I had a couple of loose thoughts roaming my head while I was out:

• Why pay to stand on the wall?
• Some people are a hot mess while others are a hot tranny mess
• My tolerance with Jack is getting high, I'm gonna have to step up to that Jim.
  
• My eyesight is not improving.
  
• Beyonce makes the queen come out!
• I need to stretch and do more thigh exercises, my thighs were semi on fire.
  
• I need to train with Mels to work out the kinks in my wine.
  

Bring Toni Back!!

This is one of my favorite Toni Braxton videos.




I like this next video for so many reasons. She went back to the short hair, the composition is FIRE and she shows that she can dance a lil bit. Make sure you peep the black suit she wears near the end!