Its amazing to see how things slip through your fingers as quickly as they materialize. At the moment I am trying my hardest to not let my emotions get the best of me, but it is so hard. They are in a flux; anger at myself for allowing someone to 'sweep me off my feet'; fear of putting my hopes into someone selling a dream that I have yet to see. Looking deeper in it, I am mostly filled with anger. How could I do that to myself? How could he give up so easily? Why the hell did I set myself up like this? What the fuck was I thinking? Have I not learned my lesson? Why haven't I typed a nice long facebook message to tell him how I truly feel? Why the hell did I respond to his initial message? Why did I accept the friend request? Where do I go from here?
I see now that the actions taken have made me more damaged than before. Time for something more drastic. Phase one activate!
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