Thanx 4 Nothin' 06302009

'...music is a universal language and truly the greatest of the arts...'

Upon going through my iTunes playlist I came across the Mariah Carey song, Thanx 4 Nothin'. As the intro played out I was whisked to the a few months ago. In the healing stages of the break up, that song was my declaration not to lose any sleep over ole boy. Going from the verse:

I can't even know what to say,
I've been hurt, I've been played, and I'm so ashamed
I can't even cry, its that deep,
You just lie and you cheat like its nothing.

Vividly painting the picture of hurt caused by the breakup. She goes on (and up) to become free in the chorus:

A boy thanks for nothing,
I never knew enough about you babe
and I guess I only have myself to blame,
Now my broken heart is shattering, you were just playing a game

Nothing anyone could do to convince me babe,
I was living in a lie, just a masquerade
Now I'll never be the same,
But you were just playing a game.

She's singing about being EMANCIPATED of the bullshit and when I got to that point, the music just spoke to me.

You were just fronting
So thanks for nothing!

To the King of Pop.

I didnt know this video was so sexual, but I love it. Naomi is killing it. RIP MJ.

Dating Chronicles 06152009

In a rip from Mel's page, I will showcase my current dating status. At the time of this post, it is more of a parody since I do not consider myself dating anyone at the moment. Still happily single but entertaining options that I fear will not turn up anything fruitful. Each time I engage someone, I seem to find little things that turn me off. This in turn makes me reflect on myself and question what I really want out of the people I choose to entertain. These introspections sometimes come during the actual date (as it has for the past few encounters), leaving me to give short answers and feign interest in the mundane details of someone's life.

The thing that comes up most in what I look for is someone to stimulate me intellectually. No matter how much game you run; how big 'it' is; how attractive you are, it all fails if you can't draw my attention to something other than those things. I operate in a way of obsession and addiction, taking in all that I can, as much as I can to digest and process it. Things of physical nature don't last too long with me. This is the biggest hurdle to overcome, but surely getting through it will open up layers of myself that are reserved for my closest and most intimate friends.

Bitch.Boo.Bye 06142009

LMAO!! Thanks to Andre of the Rosary for putting me on this one.

Wow, I never thought this day would come 06042009b

As I Was talking to a friend earlier today, it dawned on me that I no longer have an obligation to my chapter as president. I performed my last presidential duty on Monday and with it behind me I feel a burden off my shoulders. It was a arduous term, but I came out of it with a new sense of pride and an ability to perform under pressure.

But onto the purpose of this post. I no longer have to think about my image in relation to the chapter, band or even Howard University. I can now stand and not be associated with those organizations as any part of their leadership. My time has come and gone to serve in those capacities, I now look forward to bettering myself. Part of that comes from stepping out the shadows and being me, not the me that is seen by many as the aforementioned leader. And for that, I am thankful!!!

Learning more about myself 06042009a

Everyday we learn something new and today I can say that I learned, better yet accepted, a part of myself that I had neglected. Tapping into that part of my being was a bit scary, but with the right person (like this evening) the outcome is well worth it. To provide some clarity, I accepted a fetish with armpits. Ahh, the joy!! With this in my arsenal, I know that my future experiences with ****** will be something to go in the books.

All roads lead to this place 06042009

If you take a look at the entirety of my blog, you would see that the subject of intimate relationships come up ever so often. I believe its at least once a month. So here is my take on it for June, lol. I want to date and develop feelings for someone, but that process gets boring and misleading. People want to call all the time, say they feel you before they know you, etc. The inverse is you feel someone, call them all the time and say that you feel them before you really know. The whole situation is taxing on an individual, especially when undertaking the task once/twice a month.

From what I have shared with some people, I think that I would be in a better position to just be someone's friend and proceed into an intimate arena. Being friends, I am privy to a bit more information than if I'm getting to know someone. Namely it is the amount of bullshit that I have to filter, that is what I care about. Knowing a person well enough would grant me access to observe and analyze their behaviors to see just how much of their word they tend to keep.

Arg, dating is so hectic...

Pretty Wings

I remember listening to his music as a child and not realizing his talent. With this song, I see that I will have to get into Maxwell.